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A Relationship Problem
I’m surrounded with dishonest people. How do I survive?
Jcw
Interesting question, JCW
A prime truth about life is that we automatically attract who and what belongs in the reality we create with our BEING choices. Obviously, some pattern of your thinking is attracting dishonest people or they wouldn’t be there -- bugging you.
It’s interesting how we attract what we don’t want because we’ve focused our attention on it. But that’s why, "what we resist in life persists"—because we focus all our attention on the problem and none on the solution.
The number one principle determining the quality of your life is: We become what we think about.
So, for as long as you stay focused on your problem with dishonest people, YOU will BE the problem. The BEING Solution for your problem is obvious. Focus your attention on the solution for your problem, and before long you won’t have that problem.
Before I suggest a solution for your problem, I want to call your attention to the fact that you’ve given away your power to the problem.
To solve your problem, you must first take back your power. You are the spirit of God in you with the awesome power that allows you to make BEING choices that can and will change your reality!
How do I know you’ve given away your power? You’ve asked, “How do I survive?” That’s a victim’s question and survival is what the ego does to stay alive and in the game.
The fact is, JCW, you are not your ego and you are not a victim. You brought this problem upon yourself by the pattern of your thinking. In order to find the personal power to solve the problem, you’ll need to allow yourself to see that it is your creation.
I could tell you exactly what to do to solve the problem, but that would be my solution, and it would have been my way of BEING that solved the problem.
What we need, here, is for you to brainstorm on all the possible ways that YOU could solve the problem; pick the best possible solution; and then make a commitment to BE the one who can implement that DOING solution.
But, JCW, when you DO whatever you must DO to solve your problem, DO it knowing that you have taken back your power and are now BEING one who no longer has the problem!
Now that I’ve basically laid the problem’s solution back in your lap, I’ll give you some alternate ways to think about it.
You might wonder how so many of THEM came to be dishonest. Years ago, I confronted one of my employees about his lying. I pointed out to him that he often lied when telling the truth would have served him better. I asked why that was.
He told me that, as kids, he and his brother often got into trouble. When they were caught, he told the truth, at first, and was punished. His brother lied and got off Scott free. He said, “It didn’t take me long to learn that it was safer to lie than to tell the truth.
When I heard that explanation, it made me stop and think. I began to examine my roll as a boss, and realized that I too, made telling a lie a safer thing than telling the truth. I made my decision, then, to change that. Not long after I made telling the truth the safe thing to do, the truth was what I got most of the time.
Why was I not upset that people are often dishonest? Everyone has an ego. And ego is a survival mechanism. Its prime purpose in life is the survival of its being whoever it perceives itself to be. It lies to survive. Your ego is lying to you now when it tells you that you have no responsibility for the dishonesty you endure distastefully.
I take the position that everyone is dishonest about something, so I don’t tempt him or her by leaving $100 bills on the counter. But I trusted each my employees until I found out I couldn’t, and then I dismissed him or her.
You see, I had several choices in dealing with employee dishonesty; I could have worried myself sick about it; I could have set up spy cameras and tried to catch them; or I could have chosen not to worry about it and deal with it when it happened.
I chose not to worry. Notice that all three ways of handling the problem required a BEING decision. So, I ask you, “Which one allowed me to sleep peacefully at night?”
Every situation in life requires a BEING choice.
You can bristle up and fight
You can fret and worry, but do nothing
You can blame someone else for the problem and BE the victim
You can run an hide, hoping the problem will go away (it never does)
You can decide on a new tolerant point of view that makes the problem seem no longer significant
Or you can rise above the problem and deal with it from a position of power.
Each of these is a BEING choice, but only two of them are BEING Solutions.
Anyone who chooses to be a victim has lost his or her power. Only two of the above choices will give you back your power.
Oh, by the way; in every situation in life, you must choose. In fact, it is impossible not to choose, because choosing not to choose is choosing.
Darel
