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Relationships
are the mirror in which
we may see ourselves as we really are
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RICHBITS LATEST
RELATIONSHIP SOLUTION ARTICLE
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Creating the Space
For Having That Perfect Person
Show Up In Your Life
by Darel Rutherford
Wouldn't you like know the real reason that perfect person, your soul mate, hasn't shown up?
It's because you haven't created the space for him or her to be in your life!
Let me give you an example of how that works.
Several years ago, Francine, a lady doctor who lives in the United States met and fell in love with a man who lived in England. As the years passed, their contacts became less and less, and it became obvious to both that the relationship would never amount to more than a time to remember.
But this long-distance relationship, even though it would never be more than a fond memory, had become a barrier to her having a serious relationship.
And then Francine. like most women in business, made the mistake of concluding that women in business can't really have a relationship--that it’s either a relationship or the business --one or the other, but not both.
Based on that belief, Francine proceeded to make her practice her whole life
The reality concept here is that there could be no room in her life for a permanent relationship with a man, because a relationship demands more than you can give to a relationship if you also have a business to run.
I disagreed with that premise and suggested that she might want to create the space for a serious relationship by giving up the idea that it could only be one or the other. I suggested that she might want to create the space for a relationship to happen.
I also suggested that she give up on the fairy tale that her long distance relationship would ever amount to anything more than a romanticized memory.
Three weeks later Francine reported that she had given up her attachment to the man in England and had finally made up her mind that her business would no longer be her whole life. By so doing, she was creating the space for a relationship to happen.
Almost immediately that vacuum was filled. This month she met the man with whom she thinks she can create a serious relationship
This is the way life works. If you want something from life that you don’t now have, create the space for it to happen and it will. That’s not a promise; it’s a guarantee. Create the void, and nature will fill it!
And that principle is also true for anything else you may want from life that you don't now have. Whatever you want -- whatever's missing from your life is not about to show up until you create space for it.
But once you make room for it, it must happen, because nature abhors a vacuum.
So, how does one create space for the good stuff to show up? Easy! Just get rid of what's no longer serving you and have a fairly clear idea about who or what you want to fill that space.
Try this exercise for creating space
Take a long hard look at everything in your life – I mean everything. Imagine picking it up; examining it from all angles and ask yourself, "Does this do anything for me? Does it serve me in some way and if so, how?" And if not, ask yourself if it’s okay to get rid of it.
Is it clutter, does it help you know yourself or to feel good about yourself? Your prime purpose in life is to discover and know yourself. Does this item add anything to your life? If not, it’s clutter. See if you can get rid of it.
Now, do the same with the people in your life.
The purpose of each and every relationship in your life is to provide the space for you to BE you. So, question each of your relationships; ask yourself if being in relationship with this person allows you to know and like yourself as who you are.
When you meet someone you know, ask yourself, do I like myself when I’m with him / her? If not, question the need for continuing with that relationship.
I know this sounds hard-hearted and calloused, but if you’re stuck in a box filled with people and stuff that no longer belongs in your life -- no longer fits in with who you're now being, you'll need to create the space for someone or something that's a better fit.
You can do that by creating a bigger box or by discarding who and what doesn't fit.
If what you're finding in your life no longer supports who you are or who you intend to be, you may want to create space for something new by dumping the old. Nature says, you must create the void before the new good life can show up.
And about having the good life, Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or it’s nothing.”
What we’re talking about today is being brave enough to create the space for your new reality. Nature abhors a vacuum. So when you create the void, I’ll guarantee that nature will fill it-- if not with good stuff, then with junk. The choice is yours.
The first thing you must do before you can ever have what you want from life is create the space in which it can happen.
Your true purpose in life is to finally come to know who you really are. You'll make that discovery by being yourself under any and all circumstances. What belongs in your life then just automatically show up.
With that end in mind, every person, thing or activity in your life should, in some way, nourish you or provide you with the experience of being who you are.
So, to create the space for the real you to emerge, you may want to reevaluate every person and / or thing in your life with the question. Does this person or thing contribute anything of value to my life? And if not, could I discard it?
Don't be surprised if letting go of "what was" in favor of "what can be" is a painful process.
Finding the perfect mate for yourself is a four part process.
Knowing yourself well enough to...
Know what sort of person you want in your life
Creating the space for that relationship to be in your life
Choosing to be the one to whom that perfect person would be attracted.
To learn more about creating space for your soul mate to show up in your life, you might want to read BEING THE SOLUTION. But I suspect you'll need help in dealing with your natural resistance to the change in you that would allow that perfect person to show up..
For that help, you may want to sign up for the next Online BEING WORKSHOP. To buy the book or sign up for the workshop, go here.
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Article by Darel Rutherford, Permission to reprint this article is hereby granted provided the following contact information is included: darel@richbits.com or http://www.richbits.com/relate/index.htm ========================================
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The intent of this Web Site-
show you how to turn
an
Unhappy
Relationships
into--
Happy Relationships
How will we do that?
Well, first, we'll prove to you that your mind-set concerning that relationship is the true cause of your relationship problems.
In fact, it is your concept of reality concerning relationships that stands between you and having that relationship be how you've always wanted it.
Our intent it to change your reality concept concerning relationships and then to show you how to acquire a new way of seeing yourself in that relationship that will have you be together on good terms and happy with the relationship.
It's my intent to fill this web site with everything you need to know to solve your relationship problems.
Whether or not you choose to take the path to happiness in that relationship is a BEING choice.
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