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"Afraid she's going to meet someone and leave me"

A relationship problem:

I O wrote:

Darel, yesterday after we talked I took your suggestion and started thinking about visualizing a new GIRL FRIEND that would be the perfect match for me. I wanted to order the perfect relationship from the universe.

But when I was thinking about the woman who would be the perfect match, I found something in myself that I had never realized before. I AM A JEALOUS GUY. I always wanted to avoid seeing this. But now I just saw that being jealous is my victim story for all those relationships. 

I’ve entered each new relationship knowing, at some level, that she would, sooner or later, leave me. I always have that feeling even though, in all previous relationships, I was the one who broke up the relationship. So, whenever I enter into a new relationship, I still believe that, she is going to meet someone and leave me. I've never really trusted women.

I finally figured out that my lack of trust was because I hadn’t been trustworthy. I mean, I cheated on my girlfriends all the time (Sorry, I was young and stupid). Now I see that every time I’m in a relationship, I believe that she is going to do the same thing, CHEAT ON ME.

Therefore, in working on my visualization of the perfect woman for me, the fear that she’s going to cheat on me pops up to spoil the vision. Can you help me deal with this doubt?

IO

The BEING SOLUTION

I O, because we become what we think about, you are the sum total of every thought and feeling you’ve ever experienced. So, when judging others it is quite natural that you would see in them the same light, with the ethics and moral standards that you’ve found in yourself.

Unfortunately, your past history of cheating on girl friends created a sort of self-fulfilling expectation of how others would then treat you. And that’s been your experience with relationships up till now. But, I O, you can change that by choosing a new way of BEING in a relationship with a woman!

It’s interesting that we create our own reality by choosing who we will be and then wonder why life treats us this way. That’s our victim story.

The circumstances in our lives are not happenstance. The facts of life are: Once we’ve chosen, a law of the Universe, The Law of Attraction, takes over to provide us with everything that belongs in the reality of that BEING choice—good or bad, as the case may be.

To stay on top of our problems, you and I must keep remembering that we created the reality we now endure by choosing who we would BE.

To solve your pattern of cheating relationships, I O, you must choose a new way of BEING in relationships. This is not about changing her or assuming that the solution is about finding someone who would be faithful, it’s about YOU changing YOU.

The way to begin that BEING change in you is by visualizing yourself faithful and true in a relationship with a woman you know you can trust, just as you know she can trust you to always be faithful to her.

Instead of searching for the right woman, hoping that the next one you meet will be THE ONE, think about who the perfect woman would be for you—your soul mate.  First decide what sort of person you’d want to spend the rest of your life with and then ask yourself who you would need to be to attract that person.

To accomplish this BEING Change, spend at least 30 minutes a day visualizing yourself BEING that guy, all the while, knowing that your soul mate is also searching for you.

Here’s an example of how it works:

My massage therapist told me one day that she might not be staying in Albuquerque. She said, I’ve been divorced for a year, my kids have moved out of the house and are on their own. I have no reason to stay here except for my massage practice, and I can do that anywhere.

So, I asked her what it would take to have her want to stay in Albuquerque. She thought for a moment and replied, I’d have to meet the right man.  What would he look like, I asked.

She said, He’d have to be a loving man; he’d have to live on the east side of the mountains; he’d have to love fishing and skiing.  I almost laughed, because I thought that was a pretty tall order. But, instead, I said, okay, why don’t you visualize yourself meeting him?

She met him the next day in a sporting goods store! It was an immediate match and they were married three months later.

I see her once a week and I don’t have to ask how the marriage is going. I can see it in the shine in her eyes and the smile her face every week. That’s the way the Law of Attraction works.

Once you’re clear about who you will BE, the Universe knows who and what belongs with you.

So, I O, visualize yourself being the perfect man who attracts the perfect woman for you. And don’t worry about being jealous or worrying about her being faithful. You’ll both know when you find each other that you’ve found your soul mate and there will be no doubts for either of you about the other.

So, what's your relationship problem? To tell me your story, click here

When I've posted your BEING Solution here, I will send send you your link to this page.

 Darel