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The topic for this week's edition of my newsletter: Unconditional Love

The freedom to be…

The Universe has unconditional love for us. When we accept that love we are free to be us in a brand new way, free from any limitations we may have placed on ourselves. That’s unconditional love – the freedom to be us. Loving ourselves will open up limitless possibilities we may have not been aware of. If we haven’t seen the light yet, we have just not allowed ourselves to see just how powerful that makes us. And once we have found it, we will be able to shine our light of freedom to BE out onto the world.

The path to loving ourselves unconditionally

The true catalyst for any change in BEING is unconditional love. That is the space we create for ourselves and others to be who we are without the intention to fix or change.

If we want change in our life, we will have to start by loving the way we are now. Remember we can’t get to where we want to be until we have made it acceptable to be where we are now. Allowing ourselves to see when we are stuck in the status quo will bring about a change in our circumstance which can lead to a change in consciousness. This is because we are changing our mind about who we are now and who we can choose to be.  But this change in consciousness can’t happen until we create the space for it to happen.

The space that allows us to move into a new consciousness is unconditional love.

At first, loving ourselves unconditionally may not be easy. We may have developed a habit of putting ourselves down, making ourselves wrong our entire life. “I’m not okay,” may have become our habitual way of thinking. By becoming aware of our subconscious thoughts we can begin to modify them. Without this initial step, attempting to love ourselves unconditionally may not fit the context of our current BEING choice.

Who would we be BEING if loving ourselves unconditionally did fit?

We may find it difficult to answer that question or to choose that far outside the box in one leap. Instead of choosing to love ourselves unconditionally, we might want to commit to discovering who we would be if we loved ourselves as we are. We know that we are not yet there but we are choosing to find out what it would be like if we were there.

Unconditional love applied to our ego.

Once we have committed to the idea of discovering what it would be like to love ourselves unconditionally, we will find ways to love ourselves more.

A good way to start the process is to make it acceptable that our ego resists the change we want. Talking to our ego and letting it know that we accept it just the way it is now. Strange as this may seem, we have just created the space for our ego to get on the same page with us.

Now perhaps we can provide that kind of “freedom-to-be-me” for another. This technique can be very useful when we find ourselves being upset by the behavior of a friend or someone we love. How do we lovingly deal with the objectionable behavior?

The first step is to separate the behavior from the person. By focusing our attention on the love we have for the person we will be taken to a place where we can objectively look at their behavior. We can still see that it is unacceptable but our love for the person remains resolute. In order to be successful in manifesting the changes for an improved quality of life we must BE the change we want to see happen.

When we confront the unacceptable behavior from another we must first ask ourselves who would we be BEING – how would we feel if that bad behavior had already stopped? Choose to BE that person, and then create that space for that change by making it totally acceptable if the other person does not choose to modify their behavior.

This may sound like double-talk but the true catalyst for change is total acceptance without the intent of fixing or changing the other person. Instead it is important that we focus on BEING the person in the changed situation.

Often times our BEING choice shift creates the space that allows the other person to adjust who they are choosing to be. When we base any relationship we have on loving ourselves unconditionally we provide others with the space to do the same.


For past issues of Richbits, click here.

Win at life and love by playing full out and unattached

Darel A Rutherford
Author, Workshop Presenter, Life Coach

7116 Arroyo Del Oso, NE
Albuquerque, NM 87109

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