You're Ready,
But Don't
Know How To Choose
How Do I Choose?
When I first started writing the Richbits Newsletter
approximately 10
years ago, I hadn't given serious thought to why others have trouble making up
their minds. Since indecision is not one of my problems, to my way of thinking,
the question "How do I choose?" did not compute.
But, the more I thought about it, the
more I wondered if I had been avoiding answering the question because I didn't
want to deal with the question of indecision. If I had an aversion to
indecision, maybe my problem with indecision was a cover up.
When I began to wonder why I make
decisions quickly, I came to realize that vacillation upset me. So, the question
for me was, why does indecisiveness in myself and others, disturb me?
Lost And Didn't Like The Feeling
The answer to that question took me back to a time in my
life when I did not know who I was, what I wanted or where I was going with my
life. During those early years, I had no goals, no ambition, no real purpose in
life, except to dig myself out of the emotional rut in which I found myself. My
life at that point was one great big question mark. In terms of self-discovery,
I was lost and I didn't like the feeling.
I realized that I avoid indecision like
the plague, because I don't ever want to experience that lost feeling again. And
that brings to mind another experience in my life when I didn't know which way
to go, another time when I was lost.
It was on a Sunday morning. I was on
the freeway between Dallas and Ft. Worth, with barely enough time left to get to
the church where I was to speak that morning.
I was busy thinking about my talk as I
drove onto the freeway, I paid little or no attention to the exit signs as I passed
them. Then, when I finally began to look for my exit, I didn't recognize any of
the street names. I didn't know if my exit was yet to come or behind me. That's
when I felt a fear bordering on panic. I knew then that I was lost.
I was out of time and panicked as I
thought about that church full of people, sitting there, wondering if they were
going to have a speaker that morning. If you've ever been lost and in a hurry to
get someplace, you will have some idea of how I felt. It's not a good feeling.
I exited the freeway, hoping to find
some business open on Sunday morning so I could ask directions. Instead, I found
myself in a housing development with nothing but homes, and it was too early for
most people to be awake on a Sunday morning.
After much hesitation, I rang a
doorbell, woke someone, apologized and asked where their house was in relation
to where I wanted to be. Once I found HERE,
I knew where THERE
was; the panic went away, and I knew how to get to the church.
I made it to the church on time, with
one minute to spare and received some questioning looks from the minster and those in
charge of the service.
Choosing The Path Is Easy - If You Know Where You're Going
How does this example relate to the problem of indecision?
Decisions become necessary only when you come to a crossroad in life while
moving down a path toward some goal. If you are having trouble making up your
mind at this point, it can only be because you don't know either where you are
or where you're going.
You will never, ever, have
trouble choosing the path if you know who you are and where you're going.
If you know where you are going and still can't choose, it
would be because you don't know where you are now. You can never get where
you're going, except by accident, if you have no idea where you are now. In
other words, you can't get THERE if you don't
know where HERE is; which brings me to my next
point.
It's About Who You Are
In most cases, indecision is not a case of not knowing
where you are; it is a case of not knowing who you are.
A big decision, like choosing to be richer or healthier or
improving a relationship, would require that you change your mind about who you
are. That decision would demand of you a gigantic leap in self-confidence and a
big change in your self-worth. Not knowing who you are makes the decision to
change some aspect of your life almost impossible.
Do you believe you are ready to choose to be richer or
healthier or improve a relationship, but you don't know how to choose? Maybe who
you are now, doesn't want you to choose, which makes the question, "How do I
choose?" your ego's barrier, set up to keep you from choosing.
Don't Ask How, Just Jump
"How do I choose to be _____?____" is like asking, "How do
I jump?" when you're standing on the end of a diving board looking down at the
water.
The real question here is not "How do I jump?", it's
how do I find the courage to jump, or the courage to "Choose to be ____?____?".
When you are standing at
the end of the diving board, you don't ask how, you just jump.
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Chapter 6, What's Stopping You?,
from my book
"To God Or As God" - Pg 65.
Most people will never choose out of their
boxes, because they have convinced themselves there's no way out. In
fact, your ego's number one favorite trap is, "There is no way out", and
it almost always works. Isn't that what's keeping you boxed in?
For as long as you continue to believe there's
no way out, it would be pointless to even hope for life to get better.
But, there IS a way out and it's called the quantum leap, a new BEING
choice.
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Chapter 5 - Be Do Have
from my book
"So, Why Aren't You Rich?" -
Pg. 127
Before You Can Say Yes
In a power contest between YES and NO,
there are those who would say that YES is the most powerful of
the two. I disagree, because I know,
that you can't say "YES" until
you say "NO" to the alternatives.
You can't really say
yes to butter
pecan ice cream until you have said
no to vanilla and
the other twenty-nine flavors.
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Chapter 8 - Choosing To Be Rich
from my book
"Being The Solution" -
Pg. 93
Why we can't choose
If you are stuck in your current reality, if
you can't see that you could have chosen differently, you'll need to
take another look at your other options. Other ways to go will show up
for you if you are open to the possibility! We pretend there's no way
out only because we don't want to choose and then be responsible for our
choice. There is always a way out.
Each time we're faced with some form of
confrontation, challenge or circumstance we don't like, there are always
three options: we can choose to give in, fight or run; when faced with
the need for a decision, we can say yes, no or maybe. When the phone
rings, we can choose to answer it or not; the list of options available
can go on and on.
Life is about making choices,
and choosing is a self-discovery process.
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