Review: Chapter Eighteen
Smile and then make a new agreement
.
One of life’s greatest revelations is the
realization that you have, unconsciously made an agreement with each and every
person in your reality—an agreement about who you will be for them and they
for you.
Once you begin to see your relationships as
unwritten agreements, you will have found the power to transform the quality
of your life forever. From that moment on, when a relationship rubs you the
wrong way, you’ll simply smile and propose a change in the agreement!
When you’re tired of being jerked around by
your dog, a gentle pull on the leash, from time to time, will let your dog
know that you are taking control. When it gets the message, you will have made
a new agreement with your dog.
The solution to your relationship with your
boss or a friend might be handled just as easily. You may want to begin by
asking yourself who you would be BEING if he or she no longer felt free to
treat you in that manner. Then, having made your new BEING decision, you would
be empowered to make a new agreement with that person about how you will be
treated in the future.
He or she may not agree, but so what? Without
the new agreement, the relationship doesn’t work for you anyway. You have made
a new BEING choice, and the new you no longer fits the old mold.
Don’t resent your boss for being the jerk (if
he is). Your boss is doing you the favor of allowing you to experience life
from the role of being the victim in that relationship.
The value gained from such an experience comes
when you finally realize that you chose the victim role because you needed the
experience. Accepting this truth gives you the power to make a new BEING
choice, and your newfound power makes your victory even sweeter.
To learn how to uncover the unwritten agreement and then to
make a new agreement, you'll want to read chapter 18 of "BEING THE SOLUTION".
